The Need to Please: Mindfulness Skills to Gain Freedom from People Pleasing and Approval Seeking

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Contents

  1. The Need to Please: Mindfulness Skills to Gain Freedom from People Pleasing and Approval Seeking
  2. A Powerful Guide for People-Pleasers (and a Giveaway!)
  3. Need to Please : Mindfulness Skills to Gain Freedom from People Pleasing and Approval Seeking
  4. See a Problem?
  5. Account Options

If so, you might be a chronic people-pleaser. Unfortunately, because we live in a society that praises putting the needs of others before ourselves, it can be difficult to break this bad habit. And while thinking of others is always commendable, there is a fine line between sacrifice and senseless approval seeking. In The Need to Please, a leading mindfulness expert and psychotherapist provides compassionate, mindfulness-based techniques that will help chronic people-pleasers like you address and overcome your fears of failure, inappropriate self-sacrificing, loss of personal identity, and voracious need of approval.

Top Authors

In addition, you will learn to put an end to the codependent behaviors that lie at the heart of being a people-pleaser. I think this book does a go Mindfulness is a practice I am completely new to. I think this book does a good job of informing without promising a big secret formula that will solve everything. I would definetly be interested in reading more books about mindfulness thanks to Micki! Apr 01, Trina rated it it was amazing. For that reason I found this book very informative and helpful. I also really enjoyed the mindfulness aspect of "The need to Please".

This book is a great introduction to mindfulness meditation and helpful in starting your own mindfulness practice. Fine gives numerous mindfulness exercises to try out and explains them well. Fine's writing style and advice is very kind and accepting. She doesn't preach or lecture. I suppose she is treating the reader as she hopes they will learn to treat themselves. Overall a great book, I learned a lot!

Nov 02, Christine Seifert added it Shelves: I don't usually read self-help books, but this one was actually helpful in some ways. I do wish it had talked more about people pleasing in professional relationships. I think the dynamics in professional situations are different and the stakes are sometimes higher.

Still, this book does provide useful solutions for thinking about why some people have an insatiable need for approval. I'm regrettably one of them. Jun 23, Amy rated it it was amazing. This book exposes the destructive habit so many of us have of needing to be a people pleaser, which typically does not improve the life of those you are trying to please or yourself.

The Need to Please: Mindfulness Skills to Gain Freedom from People Pleasing and Approval Seeking

I enjoyed receiving concrete, real world ways to live a mindful life. Definitely a well written book that has had a positive influence on my life. Aug 24, Lauren rated it really liked it. I have come across this "mindfulness" concept more and more in the pop psychology genre. It actually is pretty relevant, though. We spend a lot of time worried about silly things and lose the opportunity to be IN the moment.

A Powerful Guide for People-Pleasers (and a Giveaway!)

I liked her set up, her case reports, and her exercises to stop being a chronic people pleaser and find out who YOU are. Sep 24, Nicole Garcia rated it really liked it. This book covers it all. It talks about how you became a people pleaser and why it happens, the now of it and exploration of being one in different relationships, and how to change it.

It really is like a workbook and I would recommend for those it applies to.

Need to Please : Mindfulness Skills to Gain Freedom from People Pleasing and Approval Seeking

Nov 18, Jesse S rated it liked it. Some great points and great tools, but I found some of it repetitive at times. Although I suppose for a book like this that can benefit some readers who many need to hear it more than once! Aug 08, Gretta Walhovd rated it it was amazing.

Great exercises although there are a lot which remind me a lot of a great meditation book series I took recently. Jan 03, Justice Diven rated it really liked it.

See a Problem?

Chock full of very practical exercises for mindfully exploring and releasing the compulsive need to please. Take it slowly, more workbook than inspirational, feel-good stories. Sep 13, Naomi marked it as to-read. Just received this in the mail from a Goodreads First Reads giveaway! I'm looking forward to reading it! Amy Hunter rated it it was amazing Feb 24, Lisa rated it really liked it Feb 13, Philipp Brandes rated it liked it Oct 10, Denise rated it it was ok Mar 18, Marilyn rated it it was amazing Oct 27, Caroline Anastasia Mccaskill rated it it was amazing Oct 27, Tessa rated it really liked it Sep 16, Rachel rated it really liked it Jan 03, Jeanette Villagomez rated it liked it Sep 17, Charlie loran rated it it was amazing Apr 10, Michel Rivolta rated it it was amazing Jun 20, There are no discussion topics on this book yet.

Books by Micki Fine. Trivia About The Need to Pleas No trivia or quizzes yet. When you feel overwhelmed with thoughts, give yourself a chance to regroup by grounding your awareness in sensate experiences. Precisely notice your moment-to-moment physical experience. Notice how you feel afterward. You may be more grounded and able to access a more independent perspective. To work skillfully with our emotions we first need to release ourselves from autopilot by taking a conscious breath and bringing awareness to the present-moment experience of the emotion.

Most of the time we try to make difficult emotions go away and hang on to the pleasant ones. Instead we cultivate a kind, friendly attitude toward the emotion. Then we investigate the emotion by dropping into the body to explore the sensations with compassionate curiosity. We non-identify when we remember that everyone suffers and that we are not alone.

This can help us feel comforted because it helps us take the emotion less personally. It is important to practice RAIN with patience, kindness, and non-striving. For example, sometimes it is not possible to allow an emotion to be present, but we can allow the resistance. We need to be charitable with ourselves. Offering ourselves compassion can be a beautiful thing. It can interrupt the harshness with which we treat ourselves and provide an opportunity to choose more wisely what comes next.


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For those of us experiencing people pleasing difficulties, it is important to do things that focus us inward, recognize perfectionism at work, and give kind understanding and compassion to our humanity. Here is one such practice. When you notice a people pleasing or other stressful moment, stop and take a breath. Then speak to yourself in a way that recognizes the moment as being difficult and also offers kind words toward you. Using a pet name that reminds you of your goodness can add a touch of kindness. Also, adding a physical gesture such has putting your hand on your heart or cheek can help foster gentleness.

How can I take care of you now? You can learn more about The Need to Please on Amazon here. I receive complimentary books for reviews and interviews on tinybuddha. I am an Amazon affiliate, meaning I earn a percentage of all books purchased through the links I provide on this site.


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It's not about me. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. Click here to read more. Leave a comment below For an extra entry, tweet: Tell us a little bit about yourself and what inspired you to write this book. What causes some people to become people-pleasers and others to feel less dependent on external validation?