Were Raising Christians, Not Just Children
We're Raising Christians, Not Just Children
Parents should be calm and measured when disciplining a child. This is also true in disciplining children. Parents must wisely consider the consequences for each infraction. If discipline is unfair, it may result in rebellion. In addition, when deciding the punishment, parents must discern the difference between childishness and foolishness. Small children are going to spill milk; that is childishnes s. But when they spill the milk, were they doing it to be rebellious?
Foolishness should be punished, and childishness should be corrected. Discipline must be consistent.
Theses on Raising Children in the Lord - Geneva College, a Christian College in Pennsylvania (PA)
In addition, the giving of discipline should also be consistent between the parents. Parents must present a unified front; otherwise, it will promote manipulation from the child and cause discord within the marriage. When a child is being disobedient to his parent, distance is created in the relationship. Sin separates us from God, but his discipline is meant to draw us back into intimacy. In developing a system of punitive discipline for our children, like our heavenly Father, parents must consistently correct their children through communication.
They must teach them what sin is and why it is wrong, especially from a biblical perspective. They must warn children so they can turn away from temptation. When children sin, parents must consistently punish them in order to train them to honor God. Parents must implement both punitive and non-punitive disciplines in order to promote holiness in their children. Non-punitive disciplines are as simple as reading an hour a day, learning to play an instrument, playing a sport, having limited time on electronics, eating healthy, etc.
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These will promote virtues like teamwork, perseverance, self-control, and moderation which will bless them for the rest of their lives. What types of discipline will you implement in the lives of your children to promote godly character in them? As we consider discipline, it is very important for parents to not discipline children in a way that provokes rebellion. This is not simply referring to a child getting upset, for this is inevitable. It has to do with a deep—rooted, settled anger that stays in this child and affects his character for the rest of his life.
This anger will result in rebellion both towards the parents and towards God, and may keep them from ever becoming the righteous seed that God desires. This sin is committed not only by fathers; it is also committed by mothers. It is possible for parents to embitter their children to the point where they rebel.
This is one of the quickest ways to develop bitterness in children. Spoiled children are thankless and bitter. Because they get their way all the time, they are bitter whenever any authority does not give them what they want or when life becomes difficult. As mentioned, Proverbs Parents embitter them by never driving the foolishness, the sin, out of their hearts through discipline.
Abuse, either verbally or physically, sows seeds of anger or hatred in the hearts of children. The anger sown is hard to remove. Many times these children abuse others because of the anger in them. However, we see this not only as a result of abuse but improper discipline as well. When a parent unwisely uses his anger, it trains his child to unwisely use his also.
For example, the parent becomes angry and curses at him, criticizes him, or even harshly disciplines him. Even if the punishment is just, the improper use of anger trains the child. Many children grow bitter because their parents are never around. Consequently, they lack love and affection causing them to grow bitter. Some parents neglect their children for work.
They work long hours in order to achieve a certain amount of success, and this keeps them away from home. Ultimately, this hurts children both emotionally and spiritually. Sadly, in our society many parents neglect their children by sending them away to extensive education or extracurricular programs. Many times these programs are meant to compensate for their lack of presence. That is why he gave children to the parents. Certainly, these people should play a role, but it is important for parents to be the primary influence in the lives of their children.
Parents must be careful not to neglect their children. We saw this in the story of Martin Luther. He had a father who never encouraged him or showed him love. Listen to what commentator William Barclay said:.
The duty of the parent is discipline, but it is also encouragement. But beside the rod keep an apple to give him when he does well. Healthy parents not only discipline their children but also reward them. Parents reward their children when they do well and discipline them when they do wrong. Children start to learn fairness by this balanced approach. We get a good picture of this in the story of Jacob, the father of Joseph.
Jacob gave Joseph the robe of many colors, showing special favor to this son above the other eleven. This embittered the older siblings against the father and also against Joseph. Later, they kidnapped and sold Joseph into slavery out of anger Gen How often do siblings become embittered against one another because of unwise parenting? These children grow up disliking one another. Training children is a delicate ministry and parents tend to lose balance.
Some parents become permissive, leading them into anger and rebellion. Others become authoritarians, leading to the same. In our parenting, God has called us to not embitter our children. Finally, in order to raise godly children, parents must know them. As with all the points, this is a reflection of how God develops godliness in us as his children. Listen to what God said to Jeremiah when he called him to be a prophet to the nations: God knew Jeremiah intimately. Similarly, David spoke of how God knew him in Psalm This is also true in raising children.
They may do this by pushing their kids into the medical field, athletics, etc. God gives us children who are already uploaded with a unique and specific program like a computer. Some will be wired towards the arts, technology, or serving ministries. It is the job of parents to get to know the way God wired them, so they can encourage them in those areas. However, we are called to train a child according to his own way—according to his own bend Prov Like Jeremiah, God knew them before they were in the womb Jer 1: Like David, they are fearfully and wonderfully made Psalm In order to know their children and the way they are wired, parents must spend quality time with them.
Just like the husband and wife must spend time together to cultivate their marriage, parents should spend quality time with each child. This can become complicated as the number of children grows. Many parents maneuver this by planning weekly or monthly dates with each child. For instance, every Wednesday night will be daddy daughter date, or once a month mom and son will go to their favorite restaurant, etc. Parents must take time to be with their children, to listen to them, to study them, and to have fun with them, ultimately for the purpose of leading them in godliness.
When God made Adam and Eve, it was his will for them to be fruitful and multiply Gen 1: However, they were not just called to give birth to children, but to raise the children to be godly and to honor God with their lives cf. What was new or stood out to you in this session? In what ways were you challenged or encouraged? Why or why not? Arguments over how to school your children are overdone. Raising children is the job of parents, so other parents and the church should let them do that without having to contend with assertive contrary opinions. We will each answer to Christ.
Then pray for them daily, include them in daily family worship, take them to church each week, express happiness and contentment with your church, and fathers take the lead. If the Lord does not build your house, your labor will be in vain. Ask God for two things for each child: Make as few rules as possible for the smooth running of your household.
Then enforce them predictably and fairly. God only needed Ten Commandments. Give as few direct commands as possible to reduce occasions for confrontation. Beware the spur of the moment command that just pops into your head. Insist that your commands are obeyed. Fathers and mothers tell their children what to do in three different ways: If you mean the imperative, use it. Fathers and mothers should make a rule to keep their promises and threats and hence should make it a rule to think before they make a promise or a threat whether they intend to carry it out.
However, the rule to keep your word can be overdone: Please forgive me for not keeping my word. Will you please forgive me? For more information about Geneva College admissions, go to geneva. More archived topics can be found in the respective blog categories. The page you are attempting to access contains content that is not intended for underage readers. This item has not been rated yet. We're Raising Christians, Not Just Children is a practical guide to raising a child who has a strong Christian foundation, a love and reverence for God and a belief and trust in His Word.
There is guidance for parents to firm up their walk with God as well to mold the spiritual growth and development of their children.
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