Todays Toddler: Things We Worry About (But Probably Shouldnt)

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  3. Why our children need to get outside and engage with nature | Life and style | The Guardian
  4. Why our children need to get outside and engage with nature

Socially, it improves cooperation, flexibility, and self-awareness. Emotional benefits include reduced aggression and increased happiness. Falling out of a tree is a very good lesson in risk and reward. Ask anyone over 40 to recount their most treasured memories of childhood play, and few will be indoors. Fewer still will involve an adult. Independent play, outdoors and far from grown-up eyes, is what we remember.

As things stand, today's children will be unlikely to treasure memories like that: The picture isn't entirely bleak, though.

Lessons in Manliness From Hardboiled Detective Philip Marlowe

In the US, nature deficit disorder is big news: Louv is delivering the keynote speech at the American Academy of Pediatrics' annual conference; city parks departments are joining with local health services to prescribe "outdoor time" for problem children. Often, though, this remains what he calls a "mediated experience" — dictated by adults. One project, in Somerset, could show the way ahead. Two years ago the Somerset Play and Participation Service, a voluntary sector scheme run by children's charity Barnardo's in collaboration with a local authorities and a number of natural environment agencies, began putting time and money into encouraging children to play independently outdoors.

Part of the scheme is a website, somersetoutdoorplay. There are no specific activities, no fixed equipment; there are tree branches and muddy slopes. The spaces themselves are inspiring. Children set their own challenges, assess their own risks, take their own responsibility, have their own adventures, and learn from them.

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And what they learn can't be taught. You should see them. The hedgecutting season is here - a time when farmers across the country get busy depriving wildlife of valuable winter food and shelter. Parents and parenting Family Children Wildlife Butterflies features. Order by newest oldest recommendations. Show 25 25 50 All. Threads collapsed expanded unthreaded.

23 Dangerous Things You Should Let Your Kids Do

Loading comments… Trouble loading? The farmers ruined our countryside. Now we have a chance to take it back David Cox. Scrap the obscene agriculture subsidies and we could make this land beautiful again, says forestry chief David Cox. Native trees help wildlife — so why do councils plant so many exotic ones? How can he sit there without a care in world? What kind of man is that? Eventually, though, it all comes out in the wash, and you end up telling him off for not worrying along with you. Indeed, if you have a duty to worry, then so does your husband.

If it's that important for you to worry, then he darn well better worry too.

Yes but only if you really HAVE a duty to worry in the first place, and that is the thing you must come to see is just not true. Do you have a moral duty to take care of your children? Do you have a moral duty to worry and ruminate about it? In other words, isn't it really helpful to worry and ruminate over things that are important to you? To answer this question, you need a working definition of worrying.

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Worrying is always, by its nature , unpleasant. In fact, the term "worry" comes from the old English wyrgan , which means "to strangle"; and it is fair to say that worrying feels strangulating. This is because the object of worrying is always something bad that might happen. Often, the probabilities of this bad thing happening are magnified and then its badness is elevated to something extremely bad-to the level of awful, horrible, or terrible.

Then he'll never be able to compete with the other kids and he won't get into a top notch college; this would be a terrible thing and it'd be my fault for not making sure he got into the program. Now, is such thinking really helpful? If you succeed in accomplishing your goal, it will usually be in spite of your worrying. The worrying itself--especially when it turns into a habit of chronic, relentless worrying--gets in the way of solving your problems. Often, worrying takes the form of a dilemma. If I don't talk to the chairman of the committee, he might not realize what great potential my child has.

If, on the other hand, I talk to him, I might say the wrong thing or he might resent me for trying to influence him. So instead of focusing on solutions to your problem, such reasoning focuses on the catastrophic horns of the dilemma. However, when you stop worrying and stop painting fruitless dilemmas, you can give yourself a chance to constructively confront your perceived problems and live happily at the same time.

So how can you pull this off? In my new book, The Dutiful Worrier: This is thinking that focuses on finding a solution to the problem at hand instead of catastrophizing about it. This plan systematically shows you how to make decisions without being mislead and distracted by worry and feelings of guilt; and the book then gives you exercises that you can do to put the plan into practice.

One key aspect of this plan is to distinguish between morally responsible decisions and ones that aren't. In general the former are more caring, beneficial, and respectful than the latter. In general, decisions involving worry and rumination disregard YOU and so are neither caring nor respectful of you.

Why our children need to get outside and engage with nature | Life and style | The Guardian

Nor are such decisions likely to be most beneficial to those about whom you worry, since you are less likely to act and think rationally under extreme stress. I hope, then, that you will consider seriously letting yourself breathe instead of strangling yourself with needless worry. You may think you have a moral duty to worry yourself sick about the ones you love.

Of course, this is because you care and want what's best for the ones you love; but the fact is that worrying yourself sick is self-defeating. So, stop strangling yourself with chronic worry.

Why our children need to get outside and engage with nature

As a kind and caring person you deserve nothing less! Neuropsychology shows why cognitive dissonance is key to building willpower. LB Training can increase emotional intelligence, and make you a better leader.

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