To say the least. His dad took him once a week for a few hours. Meanwhile the husband gets very little. He took over her car. My husband left me 5 houses in not paid for. I told and told my daughter. Now my grandson has a wrath to grieve. The boyfriend is already putting her down. It was cardiac arrest. We wait now for tox results. How can I grieve. The boyfriend was controlling. I read her texts. I knew some but she was Whete do I go from here Idk how to live without her really.
Cancer survivor at 2. He will get 91k. Her minor child 15k. Yes this is complicated grief Any help would be appreciated. Idk what to do. I have comforted my grandson. We were close very close before the boyfriend. Hes a good man. Just not prepared or mature. I will have a small service when I sort this out if possible.
People ask to any questions. Such difficult topics confronted head-on, so very helpful, thank-you!
- Weary Heart!
- Desencuentros en América (Spanish Edition);
- Conflicted emotions following trust-based interaction - ScienceDirect.
Thankfully your posts have offered me comfort and peace, making winter-weary me feel so much better. With gratitude from Alberta.
Conflicted Emotions [Quest]
This is so true. Sometimes i am no longer sure how I really feel. Your post is comforting and validating. The great love I loss and this new, unexpected love that showed up out of nowhere. I am noticing as I am beginning the wedding planning for my upcoming summer wedding, I get sad and cry. I get overcome with emotions of gratitude and deep loss. Not all my family and friends understand the mix bag of emotions I experience and I can feel at times guilty because I am not happy all the time.
Life is strange and fascinating-losing Peter was what lead me to meet my George. Thank you for your posts-they create a space where I am accepted and acknowledged. Thank you for talking about this. It is so hard to explain to those who have never felt it.
Conflicted Emotions - ESO Life
If 17 year old me knew that I actually prefer my joys with a hint of sad and bittersweet she would think I was crazy. But feeling both allows me to remember, and that is so precious to me that I actually appreciate it. I loved this article. Eleanor, Without a doubt grieving creates and continuously fosters the confusion of feeling more than one emotion, having more than one thought at any given moment.
How right you are that grief makes you feel things. Grieving the death of my son while welcoming a new baby boy into the family is experiencing the rain and the sun at the same time, creating a very large circle to walk. You have, as Erin said, captured perfectly the mixed bag of emotions and feelings one can experience throughout the day and even within the moment.
Grief can and does fine tune that experience. Thank you for another thought provoking post. I have stage 4 breast cancer and according to the doctors in my last month here on this earth. The weird thing is that you can never really know what's going on with a person. They may show all the signs of a happy and committed relationship on the surface but that doesn't mean it's really the case. Even if he is in a happy relationship with someone else it still doesn't change the fact that people get bored with the same thing all the time, and also it doesn't change his attraction to you.
On some level he probably knows he knows he can't have you and that makes him want you even more. Adding alcohol just means he is letting go of his inhibitions. What do you think you should do at this point?
Since you can't know for certain what he wants, the only thing you can really do is decide on what you want and go from there. Do you want something more? How do feel about yourself? That's where you really have your power. Oh boy do I know this scenario! I've found myself in it before and it is so tough, especially at the stage you are right now in terms of timing. Believe it or not, the easiest thing to do is also going to be the hardest. Here's my humble opinion: You are worth more than this suffering that you are experiencing and re-experiencing.
What that means is, you deserve a guy who is unattached, whole and who is comfortable enough to be honest with you and all who are around him. It seems to me that your self-esteem, sense of self-worth is low right now and you are hoping for his attention, which will give you a temporary high and a very good one at that! Building your own self worth and having a knowing about what you need from a partner will ultimately bring you joy, happiness, contentment and the right person.
When that happens, you'll already be walking around feeling great. Then when you get attention, affection, and caring from someone it will be the icing on the cake, not the whole cake. So, I think it is best to completely distance yourself from this scenario, get some professional help therapist , and begin to use the tools available to you to build a deep sense of wholeness with or without a partner. The sooner you employ this distancing, the sooner you can begin to heal. And, please take solace in the fact that many men can find someone attractive, kiss, etc. Most of us ladies are not wired that way.
It is not our fault.
Coping with the Conflicting Emotions of Grief
Evolution has taught us that if we want to fulfill our deep rooted instinct to find mates and have children even though you may not be thinking this way, it is rooted deep down in us that we must adjust ourselves in any way we think potential mates might find attractive, which means fussing over our hair, make up, clothing, even personalities. But, it is only the relationships that are built on a foundation of honesty, trust, and real compassion that have any lasting power. Building self-esteem is not about constructing a wall around yourself to keep closeness away, it is not to be used a protective mechanism.
It is a necessary and wonderful feeling to know exactly who you are, what you want, and what you deserve, so that if the day comes when you are in a relationship and the other person causes you pain or even ends it, you will feel pain, confusion, tears, etc. Now, in order to get him out of your mind, you have to replace that thought every time it comes up with something else—anything will do.
Or go and do something that will distract you. I like to go down to the stream and throw rocks in the water. Each rock represents something I'm letting go of. Whatever works for you. Yours in harmony, LS. For me personally, I like the No Contact rule. Because in that situation it's hard to keep from getting hooked back in by your own emotions, and theirs. With NC you don't have to figure anything out, or rack your brain trying to know what will happen.
You just keep it simple. Your life is precious and your time is valuable. There are billions of people in this world, and I am sure many of them people would just love to be with you. If he was going to he would have already left it. I can understand why he's still in the relationship. It's just hard to accept. And yes, I even asked him why is he still with her the night that kissed me. Before he took me home that night I can already tell his gf was trying to make up to him and she told him that she loved him and even wanted him to kiss her.
He seemed like he was resisting it…not sure why. I have a feeling he was trying to cover it up so he could be close to me that night. He might be bored or it's just not a good relationship. I think he usually doesn't get as much attention as he used to anymore. I mean he's been with her for about 9 or 10 years now I think. Sometimes I wonder if the only reason he likes me is because I'm giving him the attention also.
I wonder if he would go for any girl that does? I'm not sure what I see in him. I know I am physically attracted to him and we share common interests.
I felt we had a deep bond at one point. I felt entirely comfortable being around him. He seems interesting and charismatic. I know I haven't dated much guys and that I'm still young but that doesn't make it any easier. I dunno, maybe he's kissed other girls? And yes, I definitely want something more. With your no contact rule, do you still think I should unfriend him on facebook?
Or would keeping him there matter? Every time I see his name pop up it kind of angers me, but I do have him hidden in my newsfeed and I'm fighting the urge to look at his profile…. I have definitely thought of some of the things you said before. Personally I have to admit I'm not totally happy with myself at this moment and know I need to improve.
The thing though is I didn't even expect to fall in love… I wasn't even looking, it just happened. I've been single for a few years now, I've dated but nothing has ever made me want more. I still need to work on myself though so I agree with what you have said and that I should probably distance myself and see what makes me happy on my own. Letting go is hard, but sometimes it has to be done. I'm already going through withdrawals… this is hard. I know it would be bound to happen but ugh! Don't know if anyone is still tuning in to this, but I still haven't contacted him.
It's very hard but I'm trying to stay strong. My heart feels empty but it's been worse. What pains me is that I feel like I still expect a call from him to see what he feels.
Is he not even sorry or does he even care? Does he not care if he loses me as a friend this time?? I guess I find that's kind of sad. I still miss him even though I know we could be nothing more. Why do things seem so right at the time even though it's wrong? Guess that was just being irrational. I know he is wrong for me anyway. I just find it hard to let people go when they were a big part of your life.
I'm no longer angry unless I really think back.