What Parents Need to Know About Children
Out of good intentions and sometimes our own unresolved issues we can become controlling or coercive, robbing our children of the freedoms they need for their own growth. Parenting requires we find the balance between loving our children, disciplining them and allowing them the necessary confusion and suffering essential for their self-discovery. All children have some very basic needs, which when given in the correct balance, help them to develop the resiliency required for a strong sense of Self.
All children need love. All children deserve love. We can give our children too many "things" and we can award them "pleasures" they do not deserve, but these pleasures only serve to make them feel empty if they were not rightfully earned. When we love with "things" we raise entitled kids who have low capacities to experience lasting joy.
I know that it goes so fast — but sometimes it feels slow
What we can never give too much of to our children is our love. Love is simple, it is nonmaterial and is the feeling we give our children of complete acceptance.
- Search Harvard Health Publishing!
- 16 Things Every Parent of Young Children Desperately Wants You to Know.
- The Deed of the Monkeys: A Short Story;
We love them because love is what they deserve. Raising children is scary and as parents we can get so caught up in fear we forget to have faith. Our belief in our children determines their belief in themselves. When our children feel dominated by our fears about every new little thing they want to do, explore or experience our fears covertly communicate we do not believe in them.
This covert message undermines our children causing them to either not believe in themselves or to rebel against the controlling nature of our fears. We must have faith in our children and give them the rope they need to struggle, discover and succeed. When our children feel we are confident in them, they are naturally more confident in themselves. When we behave contentiously towards them, showing a lack of trust in their character or ability to make wise decisions we go against them, putting us on different teams. We have to accept, as parents, that our children are different and unique people from us.
We need to allow them the space to be different and to trust we have raised them well enough for them to make mistakes, recover and do better next time. If we respond contentiously to towards their mistakes or decisions we slowly crush their own drives for self-improvement. Parenting is challenging because we have an idea of what we think is best for our children and we can over pressure them to be the image we hold of them.
However, our children need our patience not our pressure. They need for us to give them a little rope to come along at their own pace. Each child's development is on its own unique course. If they are not up to par in every area of life, adding pressure and control only defeats them. Patience communicates we believe, that in time and with enough practice, they will find their way.
What Parents Need to Know about Children
If we over pressure them we kill their spirits and perhaps even their motivation. We do not want to raise children who only feel loved if they are performing. Touch is one of the most important and grounding aspects of a relationship. Touch cues our hormones for bonding, love and a sense of security and has shown to have an immediate impact on reducing stress levels.
Our children are going to go through the same hell as any other human being. When we see them struggling it is not helpful for us to heap our own anxieties about their struggle onto them. We need to offer affection and support, letting them know that "this too shall pass. Talk to your children, love, and snuggle them; do not shout at them. Our role as parents is to provide feedback to our children which is conducive to the building of their character.
No one knows a child better than the parents, and this includes any medical or mental conditions that the child might have that could be influencing behavior. Simply walking by without staring, or drawing more attention to the scene is greatly appreciated, every time.
What Parents Need to Know About 4/20 | Common Sense Media
Check out even more of the worst parenting advice parents get. Every mother knows that breast is best. Hospitals are trained to give information about the benefits of breastfeeding to every new mother before she is discharged, and even commercials for infant formula state that breast milk is the preferred food for babies.
As wonderful as breast milk is for an infant, there are some mothers unable to nurse their babies. Telling moms giving their babies formula in public that they should be breastfeeding is unhelpful and hurtful.
In the same vein, shaming a mother nursing in public by asking her to cover up or go elsewhere, is not only unhelpful, but rude and against the law in many places. Mothers are feeding their child in the best way for them and for their child. Positive words of encouragement, however, are always welcomed. Friends, family, and even strangers often love to guess which parent or family member the baby looks like. People love to comment about how the baby looks just like daddy, mommy, sibling, or even and uncle or a cousin. And, of course, the child could be adopted. When you see a parent of young children in public, know that it took a lot of work for her to get there.
Prior to children, leaving the house was as simple as getting dressed, grabbing the keys, and hitting the road. It now entails several outfit changes for parent and baby , squeezing shoes on tiny feet, and enduring endless whining because someone wants to go to the park, not Target. Snacks must be packed more snacks than the children would consume in a week, but having more than needed is always better than less , water bottles filled, and diapers changed.
It is a production like no other, and yet every mother and father of young children knows the routine. The next time you see a mom or dad with young children in tow, know that she or he has conquered several battles already, just to get out of the house. Find out solutions to tricky parenting etiquette situations.
People without young children see illness as an inconvenience. A cold that hits a family of four will cycle through each member with only a few days of overlap for each one. Please be considerate when attending gatherings with small children if you have recently been sick or are sick. The consequences of a cold or stomach virus are much higher for those with young families, and we are already exhausted from simply living life while healthy. Parents should know these cold and flu remedies for kids. Strangers love to see and touch babies.
Babies are adorable and squishy, so this is understandable. Parents of young babies, however, in particular, would really prefer that you keep your hands to yourself. It is easy to get offended when a parent asks you to keep your hands off his or her baby, but you must understand that your hands hold germs that might literally kill or seriously harm her baby.
The respiratory syncytial virus, or RSV, presents as a simple cold to adults, but can be incredibly harmful or even fatal to young babies. It is not an act of rudeness, but protection of his or her child, that causes a parent to recoil from your well-meaning hands toward baby in the grocery store.
When a new parent complains about lack of sleep, it is tempting to tell them about the latest sleep training fad. Whether you just read an article about crying it out, or you think that her baby needs cereal in its bottle, it makes sense that you want to share the information.
If there is a way to get more sleep, you can rest assured pun intended that parents have researched it. Telling parents that they look tired is among the most annoying things that someone can say. Of course we are tired. It can take a toll, and more often than not, our needs are placed on the back burner day after day. Parenthood is harder than most expect, and yet we are grateful for the opportunity to experience it. Instead of commenting on how tired a parent looks, you might consider offering him or her a compliment about how well taken care of the children are.
Most people have dreams for themselves that still exist after having children. Putting those goals on hold for a while to raise children might seem counter-intuitive to you, but it is what works best for the families that have chosen this path. Staying home with little ones is full of joy, frustration, and often boredom. Spending all day every day reading the same books, visiting the same places, and having little to no adult interaction is difficult.